To The Future
by EricTheodorCartman
Summary: The current fourth grade class accidentally get sent to the future! Rated T for swearing and possible violence and mentions of abuse and suicidal thoughts later . Future traveling.
1. New Children

A/N: I got the idea of this from a currently unfinished fanfic called: 'The Kids Are Not Alright They Actually Suck'

If you thought you recognised the premise of the story, it might have been from that.

P.S. The first three chapters of this story will be uploaded within a day or two, as they have already been written. But after that the chapters will be uploaded as frequently as I can.

P.P.S. This story is set in March of twenty-fifteen

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><p>These are the kids of the current South Park generation, including the less frequent characters:<p>

Jimmy Allen: Father: Bill Allen: Mother/2nd Father: Fosse Allen

Joe Biggle: Father: Bradley Biggle: Mother/2nd Father: Sally Biggle

Rebeca Black: Father: Token Black: Mother/2nd Father: Nichole Black

Zachary Donovan: Father: Clyde Donovan: Mother/2nd Father: Bebe Donovan

Aaron Malkinson: Father: Scott Malkinson: Mother/2nd Father: Heidi Malkinson

Annie Marsh: Father: Stan Marsh: Mother/2nd Father: Wendy Marsh

Jack Marsh: Father: Stan Marsh: Mother/2nd Father: Wendy Marsh

Kelly 'Bubbles' McCormick: Father: Kenny McCormick: Mother/2nd Father: Butters McCormick

Leanne Mellman: Father: Pete Mellman: Mother/2nd Father: Kelly Mellman

Drake Mephesto: Father: Mephesto Terrance: Mother/2nd Father: N/A

Grace Mullen: Father: Jason Mullen: Mother/2nd Father: Jessie Mullen

Millie Petuski: Father: Dog–Poo Petuski: Mother/2nd Father: Emily Petuski

Peter Petuski: Father: Dog–Poo Petuski: Mother/2nd Father: Emily Petuski

Luke Stoley: Father: Kevin Stoley: Mother/2nd Father: Esther Stoley

Lola Broflovski–Cartman: Kyle Broflovski: Mother/2nd Father: Eric Cartman

Elizabeth Thorn: Father: Damian Thorn: Mother/2nd Father: Pip Pirrup

Lucifer Thorn: Father: Damian Thorn: Mother/2nd Father: Pip Pirrup

Henry Tucker: Father: Craig Tucker: Mother/2nd Father: Tweek Tucker

Frederick Turner: Father: Tommy Turner: Mother/2nd Father: Red Turner

Oliver Turner: Father: Unknown: Mother/2nd Father: Sally Turner

Jane Valmer: Father: Jimmy Valmer: Mother/2nd Father: Nancy Valmer

Gabriel Young: Father: Gregory Young: Mother/2nd Father: Christophe Young

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><p>AN: There isn't really a need to have these I just thought I would give you them.


	2. Chapter 1

'To The Future'

Main pairing(s): KYMAN, STENDY, CLYBE, BUNNY, CREEK, GRESTOPHE and others!

Disclaimer: I don't own South Park

Constructive criticism is very much appreciated

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><p>The whole fourth grade class at South Park Elementary were all bored on that dark, snowy Friday afternoon. As per usual in Mr Garrison's Friday evening lesson, the Students were having a session of Show–and–Tell. Clyde Donovan had just finished his presentation on lesbian cheerleaders (his fifth time he had reported that over the last week). As typical to the after–lunch lesson, Mr Garrison wasn't paying any attention at all, so once Clyde finished and sat down he hadn't noticed Cartman's hand shooting straight up into the air.<p>

After two minutes of waiting semi–patiently for Mr. Garrison to look up from the gay porn on his IPhone, Eric angrily arose from his seat and stormed to the front of the classroom, throwing something at his head. "For my Show–and–Tell project I am going to prove my undeniable genius!"

"HA! HAHA! HAHAHAHA! Cartman? A genius?" Kyle shouted at the top of his lungs, almost falling off of his seat.

"Shut up, Kahl, stupid kike!"

"Don't belittle my people, fatass!"

"Don't call me fat, Jew! I'm big boned! There is a huge difference!"

Garrison sighed in exasperation, "Just get on with it, Eric."

"Anyway, to prove I am smarter than all of you hippie assholes–"

"God damn it Cartman, you really need to get over yourself!" Stan interrupted Cartman's rant.

"AS I WAS SAYING… I am smarter than all of you! And I can prove it," He pulled out an IPhone looking thing. "With this!"

"An IPhone?" Wendy quizzed, raising an eyebrow in disbelief.

"No not an IPhone you stupid hippie bitch, it's a time machine!"

"A t-time machine, neat–o!" Butters praised his idol.

"A time machine? Come on Cartman, you can't come up with anything better?" Kenny asked, his voice muffled.

"It works poor boy!" Cartman screamed in retort.

"Prove it, fat boy!" commanded Kyle.

"Fine! But if it sends us to the future you have to give me a hundred bucks, Jew!"

"Fine, but if it doesn't you have to give me a hundred bucks and can't rip on me for the rest of the fourth grade!"

"FINE!" He looked at the clock on the wall and saw there was twenty minutes left of that lesson. "We will go twenty minutes into the future!" he began typing into the IPhone. After about a minute he frowned and looked up to his sceptical audience, "We have a little problem!"

"I told you it won't work!" Kyle sn0apped rolling his eyes.

"That's not the problem!"

"What is it then, Fatass?"

Cartman smiled sweetly, his eyes golden–brown glistening in the light. "Well, Jew boy, I kind of accidently punched in twenty years instead of twenty minutes!"

"Sure, and you're gonna 'cancel' it so we don't actually go into the 'future' aren't you?"

"Well… not exactly." Eric replied looking up.

"What?" Kyle asked, raising a sceptical eyebrow.

"We're gonna go twenty years into the future!"

"Yea right that's bull…" Just as Kyle was saying that a small swirling purple vortex appeared in the middle of the room causing a few screams from the girls (and, of cause, Butters). Kyle's eyes widened, "What the fuck?!"

Cartman smirked and pushed a button on the IPhone. The purple vortex disappeared for one second before expanding throughout the fourth grade classroom engulfing each and every student, a few muffled noises coming through the lilac violet portal. Then… they were all gone!

"Ow… my head…" Stan mumbled to himself as he slowly opened his eyes. Once his vision cleared, he looked around himself to find out that he was laying on a pond sized patch of ice surrounded by his classmates. He stood himself up and slip over to the snow covered grass by the side of the pond. He looked around himself from where he stood and realised that he was at Starks Pond. Turning back to the icy water, Stan saw that a few of the other students were beginning to slide towards him. Just as Stan had done the other students looked around and, consequently, found out they were at Starks Pond.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Kyle shouted.

"Kyle, language…" Mr. Garrison said slowly, looking around. He then took out his IPhone and looking at it.

"E-Eric, are you sure you d-didn't make a–a teleport m-machine, instead?" Butters asked.

"I… don't… think I did." Cartman replied, now looking back at his time machine.

"Aw, god damn it! My porn is fucking busted! Thanks a lot fat boy!"

Just then an old red haired man was walking across the side of the pond. Kyle then ran towards him and tapped him on the back.

After turning around towards the Jew the other ginger smiled slightly. "Yes?" he questioned.

"Would you, by any chance, know the time and date?"

"Ah yes! It is…" he touched his watch, causing a bright screen to come on, "Eight thirty."

"Okay, and the date, if I may?"

"Why certainly! It is the fifth of March, twenty thirty five!"

Everyone's eyes widened at that, all turning to face Cartman who had a look of both pleasure and shock in his eyes. Kyle gave a quick 'thank you' then ran towards the rest of his classmates and his teacher.

"Cartman, you actually made some sort of time machine!" Wendy screamed.

"Yes, I did, Teste–burger! And, Kahl, I believe there was mention of, oh, I dunno, a one hundred dollar bet, maybe!" He held out an expecting hand

"Okay, I'll pay you when we get back home!"

"NO! NOW!" Cartman screamed back, angrily, his spoilt child side showing through. Cartman raised a fist at Kyle but was punched in the face before he could do anything remotely close to causing him pain.

"I'll pay you back when we get back to our time, fatass!"

"O-ok, fine!" Cartman responded, trying in vain to scramble to his feet.


	3. Chapter 2

A/N: All of the adult children will have the * sign next to their names, that is only for the children which go into the future though. So if Ike appears in this he will be labelled as Ike, instead of Ike*. I'd just thought I'd tell you that. In this chapter that is only one, but there will be more after. Also, their names wont have the * sign if it is in speech.

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><p>After five minutes of standing in awkward silence, with Mr. Garrison trying to make his pornography work, Stan spoke up, "Cartman, send us back now!"<p>

"Wait, why do we want to go back? At least right now!" Craig retorted.

"Yea!" Wendy agreed, "We could learn twenty years' worth of knowledge!"

"Maybe, or we could go back to twenty fifteen!" Kyle suggested.

"Well, it's busted!" Cartman announced.

"Huh?" Clyde asked, confused.

"The time machine's broken!" Cartman informed his peers.

This statement caused said peers to all simultaneously scream, "What!"

"The thing won't work! So that means we are staying here! I'm being completely seriously!"

"So what should we do?" Heidi questioned.

"I say we should go to school!"

"Boo Windy! Boo Windy Testaburger, boo!"

"Why do we want to go to school?"

"Because we are all fourth grade children, on a school day, don't you think that will arouse…" A few of the boys giggled when she said 'arouse'. "Oh grow up! …suspicion? And we could ask whatever teacher we get about the last twenty years' worth of events."

"Fine!" Kyle screamed. The group headed towards the old Elementary school, not noticing that Mr. Garrison had left them.

When they reached their location they noticed a large green fence around the school. A fat, brown haired and greying man was sat in a glass booth, appearing to be bored. The children approached the previously mentioned man, capturing his attention.

"What do you want?" He quizzed, raising a single brown eyebrow.

"We… err… we…" Kyle began looking rather nervous.

"We're exchanged students!" Stan interjected.

"Where from?"

"Hawaii!" Butters screamed.

"Yea…" Stan said slowly. "We are orphans, and we were transferred here after the orphanage became full and they thought we would be better off in a small little mountain town." He explained, glaring at Butters.

'This can't work!' they all thought.

"Okay, how old are you?" The man asked, typing into a computer.

"Ten, fourth grade!" Cartman explained, looking arrogant from the realisation he was a genius.

"Okay I've informed the principal and he said to let you in. Go down the corridor to room eighteen. The teachers name is Ms Gueermo."

"Thank you." Wendy smiled politely, flipping her black hair back.

"Suck up bitch." Cartman muttered in a barely audible tone.

Once the students reached 'their' class they realised it was their class. Their one from back in twenty fifteen. Craig, who was at the front of the group, knocked on the door and sighed. A blond woman opened it and smiled politely, showing off her perfectly straight white teeth.

"Ah yes! You must be the transfer students from Hawaii!" She squealed brightly. "Come in! Come in!" Slowly, the twenty fifteen students done as was asked and entered the far too familiar room. "Okay class, these are the exchange students I was telling you about!" She turned to the previously mentioned time travellers, "Could you tell us your names, please?"

The children shared quick glances before Cartman began, "Mitch Conor."

"Terrance." Stan stated.

"Phillip." Kyle said.

"Jelly!" Butters screamed hastily.

"Craig." Craig said.

"Justin." Clyde.

"Barack." Token.

"Samantha." Wendy.

"Babe." Bebe.

"Rebeca." Nichole.

"Ack, MC Hammer!" Tweek.

It continued like that down the list of students until Timmy finished it off, stating that his name was, "Timmah!"

"Ooh, such lovely and exoticknames!" The teacher said, a smile on her face so wide you could see the skin beginning to split. The boys rolled their eyes while the girls, and Butters, thanked Ms Gueermo. "Sooo, is there anything you students would like to know?"

"Yes, yes there is!" Wendy stated, "Could you, maybe fill us in with the world history over the last like… twenty years."

"Like, inventions!" Clyde added.

"Okay class, any answers?" A girl with long black hair down to the bottom of her back raised her hand. She had two light brown streaks going through her hair. One of her eyes was brown while the other was a light blue colour. "Yes, Lola?"

"The mind reset machine!" The girl, Lola, said hastily.

"Yes! That's right." She squealed, hyperactively. A blonde girl, whose hair was tied up into two little ponytails, elevated her hand. "Kelly?"

"T-the trans-d-dimensional t-tele-porter, oh gee." The girl squealed in a high pitched voice.

"That's right! Anyone else?" A twitching, black haired boy slowly raised her hand. "Henry?"

"Ack! T-t-t-the baby machine! Ack! S-sorry i-if I'm wrong! Ack!"

"N-no… that's right." She turned to the 'Hawaiian' children, "It's funny, most major inventions over the last… ten years, have been by the same man."

"Who?" The twenty fifteen children said in unison.

"He is actually the father of one of our students! He is also coming in later to give a demonstration of something. Anyway, you've introduced yourselves, let us do the same. Starting with… Lola!"

The girl with black hair, with strange brown and red streaks, stood up, "Lola Cartman." The twenty fifteen children's eyes widened and they turned to look at Cartman, who just stood there, speechless.

Cartman regained his composer and asked that they continue.

Quite a few names stuck out to the children from the past. Names such as Kelly McCormick, Jack and Annie Marsh, Cameron Broflovski and Zack Donovan.

Once out of the building the 'Hawaiian' girls went with the other girls and both sets of boys went their separate ways.

The girls stayed a little bit behind their future kids. "Who do you think I married?" Bebe asked.

"I dunno, but I hope I married Stan!" Wendy responded.

Red sighed, "I wonder which one of us got stuck with Cartman."

Wendy chuckled, "How do you know it was a girl?"

"What, do you think he's gay?" Heidi asked, raising an eyebrow at her friend.

"Yea, but we should catch up to those girls." The girls from the past all ran to catch up with their female kids. The girls all sat around a bench.

"So," Wendy began, as usual, wanting more knowledge. "Who was that inventor, and who's their kid?"

Anne Marsh, a black haired girl, was the one to speak. "There's two of them. They're like in a gay marriage, or some'in. The actual inventor's called Eric Cartman, I think." Wendy smiled the same smile that Cartman usually had.

Kelly 'Bubbles' McCormick pointed over to the other side of the playground, where Lola Cartman was trying to read but Oliver Turner, Henry Tucker and Lucifer Thorn were chucking her book about in a circle. She didn't look angry, she just looked bored. "That's their daughter."

"Yea," Elizabeth Thorn, or Liz to her friends, added. "She's a fuckin' freak! She was experiment as well!"

Anne giggled, "She gets so pissed off when we call her that!"

Wendy didn't care about any of that, all she wanted to know was who Cartman was married to. "So, you know that Eric Cartman guy, what's his husband's name?"

"I think it's Kyle Broflovski, yea, that's it." Leanne Mellman said.

All the girls' eyes widened in disbelief that Eric Cartman and Kyle Broflovski were married.

Wendy was the first to be able to speak again, "Err… we're gonna go to our friends." They all then all hurried away.

Once the girls reached the boys they found that, yet again, Kyle and Cartman were engaged in a heated argument. Apparently, from what the girls understood, Kyle had said something about Cartman being stupid and Eric had begun renting about how he can't be stupid.

"…and another thing if I were as stupid as you say that I am then how would I be able to build a time machine? Huh?"

"Oh god, Cartman, shut up!" Stan screamed.

"Oh, that's fahn!" Cartman screamed "That's just FAHN" Just as Cartman was finishing his shouting the bell signalling the start of class sounded. The kids got into their classroom and almost immediately the teacher's high–pithed and cheery voice sounded.

"Today we have a special guest! Later, we have Mr. Eric Cart…" The door burst open revealing a gas–masked figure holding a shot–gun. The eyes of the gas–mask were a glowing red colour. The man's shirt was cut unevenly to the bottom of his chest, exposing his close–to–anorexic looking lower half.

"EVERYONE, BACK OF THE CLASS! NOW!" The man screamed in a deep, barely audible, muffled voice. He turned to Ms Gueermo, "ON THE DESK, BITCH!" A few high pitched screams could be heard when the intruder fired his gun into the crowd of children. Surprisingly, none of the children were killed. A low stifled laugh was heard coming from beneath the gas–mask. The man took of his mask revealing his messy brown hair. His left eye was still red. "Oh, god, you should've seen your faces!"

"Dad!" Lola screamed.

Cartman's eyes widened at what the girl had said. Eying the brunette he muttered, "D-dad?"

"Mr. Cartman, that is highly inappropriate!" Mrs Gueermo stated sternly. At the name Cartman all the twenty fifteen children's mouths dropped open.

"Fahn!" Cartman* said rolling his eyes.

"YOU'RE CARTMAN?!" All of the twenty fifteen children (baring Cartman, who was amazed at how thin he was) screamed.

Cartman* turned round and the colour immediately drained from his face when he saw the young versions of his friends staring at him. He then squeakily muttered "May I step out for one second please?" Once the classroom door closed all the students could hear was an ear–piercingly loud scream.

"God, Experiment, your dad is so fucking weird!" Zachary Donovan said mockingly.

Lola got a bit angry, but composed herself. "I know." She sighed. The door reopened and Cartman* walked in shakily combing his brown hair with his right hand.

After standing back at the front of the classroom Cartman* began to speak again, "Does anyone else see the kids at the back of the class? You know, like, the fat one, or the one wearing an orange Parka? Anyone?"

"Yes dad, there Hawaiian exchange students!" Lola informed her shaking father while rolling her multi–coloured (one brown and one green) eyes.

"Yea, well… that's not exactly right…"

"What do you mean Mr. Cartman?" Past Cartman asked slowly.

"Stop the charade, fat me! Okay, fahn, kids, allow me to introduce to you your parents? At least some of them."

"What? Dad, do you need to see your psychiatrist again?" Lola asked her father.

"No! God damn it all I'd done was almost destroyed my lab! Why does everyone think that when I do something strange that I've lost my mind again? Just get up here and introduce your selves, using your real names! And, kids, if you hear any names that are the same as your parents go stand next to them. Oh, by the way, a few of you, including me, are gay!" The twenty fifteen kids walked towards the front of the class and each stated their name. "So, some of you are still sitting and that's because your parents weren't in the same class as these! Okay! Just so you know!" Cartman* turned to face Mrs Gueermo, "Mrs Gueermo, I need to take these…" he gestured to both the twenty fifteen kids and all their children who were stood next to them, "kids back to my house?"

"Of cause! This must be very strange for all of you!" She squealed.


	4. Chapter 3

The kids and Cartman* walked out of the school to find a long, black, hovering limousine. After the door was open everybody got in. Once Cartman* was in and had closed the door he touched a little key pad and the car began to move.

"So… how the fuck are you here?!" Cartman* asked.

"It's your fault fatass!" Kyle yelled. Cartman* rolled his eyes while Cartman began shouting.

"Don't call future me fat you god damn Jew! As you can see I am very thin!" He raised an eyebrow, "Oh, yea. Ay, big me, two things!"

"What is it?"

"First, what's with the red eye?"

"Oh well that…" Cartman* began to explain, "'bout five, six years ago I was building something and it, well, it exploded!" A couple of the past children gasped, "The eye is the only physical thing you can see straight off the bat. The explosion took out most of the left half of my skull! Had to get a skin transplant! HA!"

"God damn it! Other thing, why aren't I fat?" Cartman asked.

"Well that, me, is a long ass story! I also need to make some calls, so… SHHHHH" He then began to touch his watch and speak to himself. At least that's what the twenty fifteen kids thought.

"Who's he talking to?" Wendy enquired, genuinely confused.

"He's on his watch phone! Duh!" Oliver Turner said.

"I'm sorry! It's not my fault I'm from the past!" Screamed Wendy.

"Shut up you stupid skank!"

Wendy's face became red with anger.

"Anyway I've sent messages to all of you guys, telling them to meet me at my mansion!"

Kyle looked quizzically at him, and mumbled under his breath. "Mansion?"

"By the way, Cartman, what's wrong with your daughter's hair?" Bebe asked what most other girls were thinking.

"Oh, she was made in a machine!" Cartman* replied, causing Lola to sink into her seat.

"What? Not only do I have a kid, but she was made by a fucking machine!" Cartman screamed, turning and glaring at his future daughter.

"Yea, well I didn't want to be the first man to get pregnant by using a pill!" Cartman* responded.

"Why would you get pregnant?" Cartman asked.

"Since I'm the... how do you say... 'bitch' in the relationship." Cartman* informed him, smiling.

"Wait, wait, wait... not only am I gay and married to Kahl, but _he's _the dominant one? Fan -fucking- tastic!"

Cartman* chuckled to himself at getting the response he expected."Ah, were here!" Cartman* informed the group of children as the hover–car came to a halt and one of the black doors opened.

To say the mansion was enormous would have been a massive understatement. The garage was as big as most houses in South Park. The building was about five floors up, each looking like it could fit about ten master–bedroom sized rooms. The front of the house was covered in huge, vibrant, green–leafed trees. Bushes standing high and some trimmed into various shapes.

Cartman* ran his hands along one of bushes, "Hey, Craig, remind you of somein'?"

Craig turned and glared at Cartman*, raising his middle finger. "Fuck you, fatass."

Cartman* smiled and brushed the comment off.

"Holy fuck…" Kyle muttered, "This is your house?"

"Well, technically it is your house as well! And we don't usually live here as I have a strange phobia of being in a big house." Cartman* said walking towards the front door.

"Why's it so big?" Wendy asked, following Cartman* along with all the other children, from the past and present. Cartman* snickered, causing Wendy to roll her eyes, "Grow up!"

"You're the one who said 'why's it so big'!" Cartman* responded.

"But seriously, Cartman, why the hell is you house so big." Stan asked.

Cartman* responded with, "To accommodate for the orphans!"

"Orphans?" Cartman screamed, "Why the fuck do orphans live with us?"

"Well, technically, you're an orphan!" Cartman* respond, scoffing.

"I'm a what?"

"An orphan." Cartman shrugs it off as if it's nothing.

"When?" Cartman asks.

"When what?" Cartman* responds.

"W-when does she d-die?" Cartman asks, shaking slightly. When he doesn't receive an answer he begins to get angry, "Answer me damn it! You can't tell me my mom died and not tell me when!"

"Fine, she dies in the summer after fourth grade!" Cartman* screamed.

"S-she what?" Cartman says slowly.

Cartman* sighs, "I'll tell you more once we're inside." He walked towards the front door, pushing the doorbell. "Ding. Ding, ding. Ding, ding, ding, ding."

A small, possibly six year old, child opened the door. He had a really happy look on his face when he saw Cartman*. "Hello, Mr. Cartman!" The boy screamed, ecstatic.

"Hello, Jacob." Cartman* said in return, bending down to his height. "Where's Mr. Stotch?"

Jacob raises an eyebrow at Cartman*, "Who?"

"Oh, yea! I mean, where's Butters?" Butters shrinks into himself at the thought of seeing the older version of himself.

"Butters is with the babies!" Jacob informed him, turning round and running down the hall.

Cartman* smiled, and turned to the group of children behind him. "Good kid. Anyway, follow me."

The group walked through the house. They came to a door that had the words: 'Baby room' written in big bold letters. Cartman* was about to open the door when he was stopped by Butters.

"Wait!" He screamed, just as Cartman*'s hand was on the door knob.

"What, Butters?" Cartman* asked as he turned around.

"I-I don't kn-know if I want t-to see the old me." Butters bumbled out.

Cartman* draped one arm around the young version of his blonde friend. "Come on, Butters! You may not want to see old you, but you don't want to miss this opportunity, do you?"

Butters was about to respond when Cartman opened the door. Inside a lanky, blonde haired man was holding and soothing a couple of babies. He turned round and first saw Cartman* then the children standing below him.

"Err… Eric, are those… like… mine and the rest of our friends, y'know, kids?" He asked, nervously bumping his knuckles together.

Cartman* smiled sweetly. "Yes."

Butter's eyes widened. "Eric! Y'know what happened last time you did that?! All their dads said that if you ever tried to kidnap their kids again they would break you neck! There's only so much your machines and Kyle can do!"

"First of all," Cartman* began. "That was an April Fools prank, and they should lighten up. Second, who said I kidnapped them? I've told all of their parents that they're here! They'll be here later."

"Why did you take 'em?"

Cartman smiled and capped his hands together. The twenty fifteen children got out of the crowd and where in plain view of Butters, who had, by this point, put down the two children he'd been holding. Once he saw the children, Butters' eyes widened even further.

"A-are they…?"

Cartman* smiled, "Yes."

Butters collapsed backwards and, to him, everything went black.


	5. Chapter 4

A/N: I have changed the chapter before this, I just changed a sort of plot hole I created. I don't know whether that's accurate, but I made it clear that Cartman was the submissive one in his and Kyle's marriage.

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><p>Butters* shot up as ice cold water (probably because of the ice in it) hit him in his face.<p>

"AHHHHH! Robot pandas!" He screamed, shooting up.

Cartman* bent down to his ear. "Good morning, sleepy head." He pulled Butters* to his feet and sat him down on a seat. "So, I'm going to bring little uses into here. Don't faint again." Cartman* clapped his hands and all the fourth graders walked in. Butters* began hyperventilating.

"Oh god, oh man, oh jeez, oh sweet Jesus! Eric, what did you do?"

Cartman* rolled his eyes, "I didn't do nothing!"

Butters* touched Butters and screamed at the fact that he wasn't a hologram.

"Soooooooo, let's do a Q n' A!" Cartman* sat on a chair and Butters* leaned next to him. "Who's first?"

Cartman spoke up first. "You owe me an explanation as to why I'm an orphan!"

Cartman* sighed, "Should'a expected this, shouldn't I of. Oh wait, I did!" He laughed to himself before becoming serious. "So, y'know how our mom is… was... a whore?" A few of the girls raised their eyebrows, the future boys turned and smirked at Lola who had sunk into herself. "Yea, that stuff aint good for a person's health. Her AIDS progressed to the point where, by the last day of fourth grade I had to live in the hospital. She died in the middle of summer vacation. But the police let me wait until school started. I had time to write a little letter, as I would 'never see you again'. Anyway, next question!"

"Oi, stick 'ead, what are we doin' 'ere! You're gonna need to talk to the past kids, not us!" Oliver Turner said.

Cartman* smiled, "Stick head, what's that about?"

"You looked at yourself recently, ya anorexic prick!"

"Ah, you know, you're kinda like me. You're an asshole, I was an asshole! Anyway, to answer your question, you and the kid versions of ya parents are gonna get to know each other tonight." Cartman* smiled.

"Wait, tonight? You mean we're all sleeping in the same room?" Bebe asked.

"Yes! Now stop complaining, I had to sleep in the same room as my sister for, like, eight years!" Cartman* responded.

Cartman raised an eyebrow, "Sister?"

"Yea, I got a sister. Anyyyyway, next question?"

"So, you know our older selves, is there anything we should know? Like, our jobs n' stuff."

"Well, you own the company that manufactures my inventions. Stan plays for the Denver Broncos, and Wendy's the mayor of South Park. Oh, Bebe's a model and Ms. Sally Turner is the town… whore." All of the twenty fifteen kids turned to Sally, who was too shocked to move. "Oh it doesn't matter, Sally. You're actually quite attractive. Y'know, not in the 'oh, I'd tap that' way. At least not for me since I'm gay, but most of the guys in this town think that. Ah, that's probably why your kid's an asshole!"

Oliver threw a can of _Coca–Cola 2.0_ at Cartman*'s head, but it was caught by Butters* who opened and drank it.

They continued the Q n' A session for about four more hours until the doorbell rang. "Jacob! Let 'em in!" Butters* shouted.

A few minutes later a man with slick back red hair, a black suite with a pale green tie. He was also wearing black dress shoes. Cartman* smiled and jumped over the crowd of children, startling some of the past children that he could jump that far.

"Kahl!" Cartman* yelled as he landed on his husband and curled his thin legs around his waist and threw his arms onto his shoulders. He smiled before capturing Kyle* in a kiss. Though startled at first, Kyle* soon deepened the kiss until he heard the sound of someone throwing up.

Kyle* looked past his husband and saw a large group of children, and Butters*, looking back at him, he also saw his daughter rubbing her temples.

He turned back to Cartman*, and after dropping him, said: "Eric, why did you kidnap our friend's kids again?!"

"I didn't…"

"And Butters, why did you let him do this again?! I told you not to!"

"Well, Kahl, he didn't. I showed him something and he passed out. For about two hours. Now, I'm going to show you the same thing. Now I didn't do anything this time, okay." He clapped his hands and the past children, who were standing at the back of the crowd, walked forward. Cartman was wiping the remains of puke from his mouth and Kyle had his eyes covered with his pale green ushanka and was murmuring to himself that this was just a nightmare.

Kyle*'s eyes widened, "What did you do?!" He screamed.

Cartman* raised his arms in his defence. "I didn't do anything, personally. But from what I understand is that little me sent little friends to the future where they decided to go to school, where they met their future kids. I then came to the school and took them here!"

Kyle* sighed, rubbing his temples (which is where Lola picked up said habit). "And do our friends know we have their kids?"

"Yes, I'm not stupid, Kahl!" He took a look at his watch and then turned to Butters*. "Butters, we gotta go feed the orphans!" Butters* and Cartman* then walked down the hall.

Kyle* smiled to himself and then turned to the group of children in front of him. "So," he began, "Eric sent you guys to the future?"

Kyle covered his ears when he heard Cartman being called 'Eric' by the future version of himself.

"Yep," Stan said. "Oh, Kyle, I have a few questions to ask you. First, are we still friends?"

"Yea, 'cause!"

"Next, how much do I make?"

"Don't know, but enough to own two vacation houses!"

"Ok, sweet!" Stan was about to ask another question when the doorbell rang.

"That's either a group of confused parents, or a group of angry ones ready to kill my husband!" Kyle* mumbled to himself.

* * *

><p>Happy Halloween!<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

Kyle* walked to the door of his mansion, the children following him, and he opened it. He most of his friends standing there, most with pretty pissed off looks on their faces.

"Okay, Kyle, why the fuck did your lunatic of a husband take our kids and bring us here?" Craig* asked in his deadpan voice, holding onto his twitchy husbands hand.

"Yea, I swear, Kyle, if he dragged me away from practise I will break his neck!" Stan* said, angry as this was the fifth time Cartman* had pulled him away from training for, generally, mild or unimportant things.

Kyle was about to respond when Cartman* walked up behind him and smiled at their friends. "Hello, Ladies and Gentlemen!"

"Get on with it, you Anorexic Asshole!" Craig* shouted, glaring at Cartman* from the crowd of adults.

"Ha! Alliteration, I can do that too. You, Sir Craig, are a Deadpan Douche!" Cartman* responded smiling at his 'wit'.

Craig* rolled his beep blue eyes, "Just get on with it!"

Cartman* smiled, and beckoned the group into his house. Butters* was standing with the crowd of children, looking nervous as he bumped his knuckles together and his eyes darted from side to side.

"Ladies, Gentlemen, I will now show you something that may shock and disturb some of you. I just want to assure you, though, I didn't do anything this time!" He then clapped his hands and the past children stepped forward.

All of the adults gasped when they saw the child versions of themselves. Stan* and Craig* both turned to Cartman* and glared.

"What did you do‽" Stan* shouted, his fists clenched at his sides in anger.

"Yea, Asshole, what did you do this time‽" Craig* screamed in agreement.

Cartman* raised his arms up and over his head, "Hey, hey, hey! _I _didn't do anything. At least present day me, I'm pretty sure that past me was the one to send past you guys–es, and female guys–es to the future!"

They then turned to Cartman, who was biting his nails. Once he noticed Stan* and Craig* looking at him, Cartman raised one of his eyebrows. "What? What'd I do‽"

"You sent your entire grade to the future!" Stan* yelled.

"Oh, yea, I did! Hey, wait, where's Mr. Garrison?" Cartman looked around.

Stan* just slapped his hand to his face, grumbling. Butters* walked back into the kitchen with Cartman* following him. A kid with black, slick backed hair, who wearing a button up shirt and black dress pants and shoes walked into the lobby and said: "Follow me to your rooms." He led the group to the right side of the building, headed up the stairs and pulled out a clipboard. They came to the first door, and read out the names: "Craig and Tweek Tucker."

"What about our kids?" Craig* asked, as the kid began to walk away.

The kid turned around, sighing. "They are all staying in one room at the end of the hall!"

"Fine." Craig* said, dragging Tweek into the room.

At the second door the kid read out the names: "Damian Thorn and Pip Pirrup." Then: "Jimmy and Nancy Valmer." Then: "Sally Turner." Then: "Kevin and Esther Stoley." Then, snickering: "Dog–Poo and Emily Petuski." Then: "Jason and Jessie Mullen." Then: "Pete and Kelly Mellman." Then: "Kenny and Butters McCormick." Then: "Wendy Testaburger and Stan Marsh." Then: "Scott and Heidi Malkinson." Then: "Clyde and Bebe Donovan." Then: "Token and Nicole Black." And, finally: "Bradley and Sally Biggle."

Once all of the parents, besides Kyle who was following them, Stan turned to the black haired kid and asked: "Why are you doing this?"

The kid turned to him, "What, take you to your rooms?"

"Yea."

"I need to do some sort of job every week to get my allowance and since I finished my dinner first I was asked to do this." He said, pulling out a keychain and unlocking the door.

Inside the room there was fifty beds, all lined up next to one another. Next to the door was a large T.V., a laptop was attached to it.

"Mr. Cartman said that the girls will be on the right and the boys on the left. Also your dinner is in about…" he looked at his watch, "half an hour. Today is Steak and egg. Salad will be available and yada yada yada." He left the room, closing the door and heading off with Kyle back to the dining room.

Once the door was closed, Cartman left, though no one else noticed, picking their beds.

Almost no one talked to each other, creating an awkward silence. That silence was broken by the door opening and Cartman* coming in. He was holding one pile of silk pyjamas and one pile of other pyjamas. He placed the two piles down and said: "God, you're all quiet!"

"Yea, Cartman." Stan said, now laying on his bed and searching his pocket for his phone.

"Ok, anyway, dinner's in twenty five minutes. You can, you know, look around and stuff, or whatever." He turned to walk away but turned around quickly and said: "Just don't go down to the underground level under any circumstance!"

He then walked away and slid down the banister, laughing.

"Jeez, Experiment, your dad is a lunatic!" Zachary Donovan said, hopping off his bed, looking out of the window at the end of the room and calling all of the boys over.

Lola rolled her eyes and walked out of the room, causing Kyle to follow her, for some reason he didn't know. Lola walked down the hall to a room, opened the door and walked in.

Kyle slowly looked in through the key hole. He saw a relatively large pink and purple room with a relatively large bed. There were three book cases, each with five shelves. Each shelf was full of books, all ordered alphabetically.

Lola sat on her bed, reached under her pillow and pulled out a stuffed green frog. She smiled at it, then hugged it. The green frog had a load of stitching on it. The frog reminded Kyle of something, he just couldn't put his finger on it.

"Clyde Frog!" Kyle said, snapping his fingers.

Lola threw her frog onto the floor in surprise. She slowly walked towards the door and opened it slightly, looking through the crack at Kyle.

"Hi, err… dad?" Lola said through the crack.

"Hey, Lola." Kyle replied, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Err… what do you want?" Lola asked, opening the door all the way.

"Well, I just saw you leave and followed you. Do you have a stuffed green frog in there?" Kyle asked, obviously already knowing the answer.

Lola sighed and lowered her head. "Yea."

Kyle walked past her and picked up the frog. "Did your dad give this to you?" Kyle asked, handing the frog back to Lola.

She smiled at it, "Yea. He said he was given to him when he was born."

"The last time I saw it, it was ripped up and being put underground." Kyle said, remembering when Cartman 'killed' all of his toys, kinda losing his mind.

"Yea, dad said he ripped him up and left him underground for about a week, but then dug it up when he was scared. He got my grandma to sow it back up. He gave it to me when I was three." She smiled.

Kyle smiled and the turned back to her. "Why'd you come over here?"

Lola looked up from the frog, "It doesn't matter."

"No, come on, I'm your dad, ain't I?" Kyle asked, smiling and wanting to know why she came here, though he didn't know why.

Lola smiled back before looking down and saying: "Whenever anyone calls me 'Experiment' I just feel like you and dad didn't want me. But whenever I see Clyde Frog, it just makes me feel happier!"

Kyle frowned, getting up and walking out. Just before he left, Kyle turned back and saw Lola hugging Clyde Frog extremely tightly.

Cartman* placed the knives and forks onto the table, and then turned towards Stan* who had just entered the dining room.

"Hey, Cartman, what's for dinner?" Stan asked.

"Steak. Wendy's a vegetarian, right?" Cartman replied.

"Yea."

"Okay, sweet, that's what I thought." Cartman responded, walking over to him.

A sudden bang caused Cartman to jump up, screaming. He landed in Stan's arms, who just looked down and frowned at him while Cartman smiled.

"Hi." He said before being dropped onto the floor by Stan.

Kyle came running in, panting. "What happened, Eric?"

He pulled himself off of the ground and said: "I don't know, but I'll check my lab."

Cartman* walked into his elevator and pushed the button which sent him down to his lab. Once the door opened, he saw Cartman on the floor, holding his time machine in his hand.

Cartman* walked over to Cartman and picked him up, though he struggled, and dragged him to the elevator. When it opened he threw Cartman at the ground. He saw that most of the kids and their parents were looking at him and Cartman as the latter pushed himself off of the ground.

"What did Cartman do this time?" Stan asked Cartman*.

"I dunno, he was in my lab doin' shit with his time machine." Cartman* replied, and walked away. Cartman got up and rubbed his head, stumbling and hitting the wall.

"I was trying to fix my time machine!" Cartman said and fell over.

Ten minutes later the dinner table was set up. All of the plates besides three had a large steak and one or two eggs on them. The middle of the table was full of dishes which had a large array of vegetables, condiments, sauces and a large chocolate cake. The three plates that didn't have a steak on them had a salad. They were for Wendy*, Lola and Cartman*, all of whom were vegetarians. The group all sat at their designated seats, with Cartman* at the head of the table. They ate in silence for about five minutes before Kyle shouted: "Stop kicking me, Fatass!"

"I'm not fucking kicking you, Jew boy!" Cartman screamed in response.

"Yes you are!" Kyle shouted back, kicking Cartman from under the table.

Cartman grabbed his fork and jabbed it into Kyle's side. "No!"

Kyle pushed Cartman off of his chair and Cartman responded by pulling Kyle off of his chair. Kyle fell on top of Cartman and he punched him in his face. Cartman grabbed Kyle's collar and threw Kyle off of him. Kyle* Stan and Stan* stood up to pull them off of one another but Cartman* raised his hand to stop them. He smiled as he remembered the last time he and Kyle had one of them fights. After a minute he let them stop them from fighting.

The group continued to eat in silence for the rest of the meal. After they were done, the kids were led by Cartman* back to their room. He opened the door and told them to all put on their pyjamas. Surprisingly, despite all of the pyjamas being the same size, Cartman was able to wear his pair. Cartman* told them to get into bed and then shut the light off. But, before actually leaving, he said: "You can talk to each other all you want, I was just told by your parents to take you to bed!"

* * *

><p><strong><span>AN: **Sorry it's been so long since I updated and I know this isn't the best chapter. I've just been preoccupied recently.

I'll try to make the chapters in the future better.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Sorry this is shorter than most chapters, the next one will be longer.

* * *

><p>The room full of children began talking as soon as Cartman* closed the doors. They mostly talked with people they knew, but a few people talked to the kids from the future, but no one talked to their children.<p>

"Cartman, how long do you think it will take to get us back?" Kenny asked from the bed next to the rotund boy.

"I don't fucking know, Kinny!"

"Well hurry up. I don't wanna learn more shit about me, you or anyone else!"

Cartman and Kyle were on the beds next to each other, but were facing away from each other and refusing to look at each other. This was the same with all of the boys who had just found out that they got married when they were older.

Two hours later, almost the entire room had fallen asleep. The only two people who hadn't fallen asleep yet were Cartman and Lola. Cartman was looking through his backpack, grunting quietly to himself as not to wake anybody. Lola sat up when she heard the grunting and raised her eyebrow. She looked over to Cartman and climbed out of her bed.

"Where is it?" Cartman grumbled, begging to sweat and tears welled up in his eyes.

"Err… daddy?" Lola asked, causing Cartman to stiffen and turn around.

Cartman poked his chest, "Me?"

"Yea. What are you doing?" Lola asked, raising an eyebrow.

"D-did you just call me daddy?" Cartman asked.

"Yea." Lola replied and then elaborated, "I thought it would be weird to call you 'Eric' because I know you are my dad. And calling you 'Cartman' is just weird because that's my last name!"

Cartman nodded, "Oh, okay." The pair then stood there for about a minute, awkwardly looking at each other.

"So, err… what _are_ you doing?" Lola repeated, looking at him.

Cartman looked down and said: "Nothing, it doesn't matter."

Lola raised her eyebrow, "What is it?"

Cartman growled, "Fine! I can't find my fucking stuffed frog!" Cartman shout–whispered.

"Err… is the frog called 'Clyde Frog' by any chance?" Lola asked.

"Y-yea… how did you know about that?" Cartman asked, momentarily forgetting Lola was his daughter.

"Err… well you gave me him when I was younger." Lola walked back to her bed and picked Clyde Frog up. She walked back to Cartman and handed him the frog. "Here you go." Lola smiled.

Cartman took the frog and hugged it, smiling.

The pair then continued standing in silence, looking at each other. "Thanks, Lola. I guess I'll talk to you later."

"Yea." Lola replied and then walked over to and got in her bed opposite Cartman's. Lola then whispered loud enough so that only Cartman could hear: "Goodnight, Daddy."

Cartman smiled at the frog and whispered back: "Goodnight, Lola."

* * *

><p>Cartman* and Kyle* were sitting in bed together, Cartman's* head on Kyle's* shoulder and his hand on Kyle's* chest.<p>

While Cartman* was snoring on his chest, Kyle* was thinking about the current situation.

'What the fuck is going on right now? I remember when Cartman created that time machine a few months before his mom died in the fourth grade. That only sent us twenty minutes into the future though.' Kyle sighed, deciding he might as well check on the kids.

He moved Cartman* off of him, got out of bed, slipped on his slippers and dressing gown and walked towards the room the kids were sleeping in. Kyle* picked up his torch and turned it on as he creaked the door open and peered in.

Kyle* walked down the room, looking from bed to bed until he came to Cartman sleeping and cuddling Clyde Frog while smiling. Kyle* smiled at the small, round boy. He then turned around to face Lola and saw that she didn't have her Clyde Frog. Kyle smiled and leant down to kiss Lola on the head. "I love you, honey." He whispered.

Lola rolled slightly and smiled at Kyle while still asleep.

Kyle* then walked back to his room and got back in bed.

* * *

><p>"This is quite a strange situation, isn't it?" Wendy* asked Stan* as she looked at him.<p>

"Yea, it's pretty fucked up." Stan* replied, running his fingers through his hair.

Wendy* then asked: "How do you think Jack and Annie'll react?"

"What when they see little uses?" Stan asked.

"No, Stan, at how they were taken out of school earlier." Wendy said sarcastically.

"I don't know, Wendy." Stan replied and then continued: "But I don't think they'll be fine but… ah, hell, I don't know, even we didn't have anything like this happen to us!"

"Yea, that's true. Cartman better fix this quickly before something stupid happens."

Stan sighed, turning the bed side lamp off and saying: "Goodnight, Honey."

Wendy laid down, "Goodnight."

* * *

><p>"Stop twitching, Tweek!" Craig said, holding his husband.<p>

"AH! But what if t-there i-is a rip in the… ah! …space time c-continuum?"

"There won't be, Tweek. It'll be okay!" Craig rubbed Tweek's back and kissed him on his lips.

Tweek stopped twitching for a second to kiss his husband. Craig leaned back, "Tweek, you don't need to worry. It'll be okay."

Tweek sighs and moves off of Craig's lap.

"Goodnight, Tweek." Craig said, rubbing Tweek's leg.

"G-goodnight, Craig." Tweek replied. The pair then laid down and went asleep. "…AH…"

* * *

><p>Cartman and Butters got up at the same usual time (five thirty) and met each other in the kitchen.<p>

"Hi, Butters, how'd you sleep?" Cartman* asked as he washed his hands.

Butters* smiled, "Fine. You?"

"Good. What are we making the orphans for breakfast?" Cartman* asked as he opened the fridge.

"Err…" Butters* looked at the wall calendar. "Today is bacon and eggs."

Cartman* sighed, "You do the bacon, I do the eggs."

"Sure."

Cartman* smiled and threw the packet of bacon and it startled Butters, causing him to almost drop it. Cartman* laughed and cracked a few egg into the frying pan, whistling. Butters* sighed and laid the bacon down on the grill. While the eggs sizzled, Cartman* got out a long row of about one hundred plates. He then went down the line, squeezing ketchup onto each of the plates.

Once the eggs were done, Cartman* placed them on the plates and cracked some more.

"When does Kyle go to work?" Butters* asked as he turned over the bacon.

Cartman* looked at his phone–watch, "Ten minutes."

"Ah." Butters* said.

"What about Kenny?" Cartman* asked.

"Six o'clock." Butters replied.

* * *

><p>Later, after everyone who had work had left and the orphans were being tutored by their respective group tutors, Cartman* and Butters* walked into one of the three large living rooms. Cartman* walked over to the fire and lit it with a match, he then sat down onto the large black chair. Butters* sat on the chair next to Cartman's* and ran his fingers through his hair.<p>

"So," Cartman* began and crossed his legs on the chair, "Kiddies, today we are going into more depth for questions, who's first?"

* * *

><p>AN 2: Next chapter will be full of flashbacks.

If you have any questions, PM me or ask in the comments.


	8. Chapter 8: Flashbacks -part one-

A/N: This is the first half of the flashbacks.

* * *

><p>"Oh, oh, Cartman!" Wendy shouted, "What was mine and Stan's wedding like?"<p>

"I wasn't there. But, Butters…"  
>"O-oh, okay."<p>

* * *

><p>August sixth 2023<p>

"Do you, Stan Marsh, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?" Father Maxi asked whilst standing in front of the marrying pair. Stan was wearing a light blue tuxedo and Wendy was wearing the traditional white wedding dress.

Stan smiled down at Wendy, "I do."  
>Father Maxi turned to Wendy, "And do you, Wendy Testaburger, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"<p>

"I do." Wendy replied.

"By the power infested in me, by the state of Colorado, I now pronounce you Man and Wife. You may kiss the bride." Father Maxi finished and the crowd cheered as Stan captured Wendy's lips with his own.

In the reception, Wendy and Stan walked around the groups and thanked them for coming. Stan and Wendy came to Kyle, Kenny and Butters.  
>Kyle walked up to Stan, "Congrats, dude."<p>

Stan smiled, "Thanks."

Butters smiled at Wendy, "W-well d-done, Wendy. I h-hope you a-and Stan w-will be happy t-together."

Wendy smiled back, "I do too Butters." She then leaded close and asked: "Do you think Kenny'll ask you to marry him?"

Butters blushed, "I-I dunno. I hope so."

Kenny threw his arm around Stan and said, "You now get to eat pussy every night," He raised his beer above his head and spilt some. "Good job."

"Kenny, one: shut up. Two: you're drunk."

"Nah, that's a lay…" Kenny coughed and took another sip of his beer.

Stan pinched the bridge of his nose, "God damn it, Kenny."

Kenny hiccupped and sipped his beer.

Bebe ran over to Wendy and hugged her, having not been able to make the actual wedding due to needing to go to the hospital for an ultrasound.

"Congratulations." She screamed at Wendy and let go of her.

"Thanks. Can I see your ultrasound pictures?" Wendy asked and looked at her blonde friend. The pair walked away, chatting and occasionally squealing until they came to another group of their girlfriends.

"So, Stan, welcome to the end of your life." Clyde chuckled and slapped Stan on the back.

Stan spun around, "Piss off, Donovan." He then chuckled and said: "What about you, Clyde? You're gonna have a kid soon."

Clyde smiled and asked: "Sorry couldn't be there for you and Wendy's wedding."

"S'okay." Stan replied and the group of Stan, Kyle, Butters, Kenny and Clyde began chatting.

The rest of the night was just filled with talking, dancing and laughing. The last five people who were left were Stan (whose parents left when Randy tried to jump through the window), Wendy (whose parents had only just left), Kyle, Butters and Kenny.

* * *

><p>March fifth 2035<p>

Wendy gushed as she imagined the event of her and Stan's wedding.

Cartman* smiled down at the little kids and asked: "Who's next?"

"Hey, big me. When _did _I get back to South Park?"

Cartman laughed: "I know this one!"

* * *

><p>August sixth 2023<p>

Kyle and Butters held Kenny up by his limbs and dragged him out of the church. The drunk man was dribbling and was almost asleep.

Kyle turned his head to look at the grave yard, there he saw a woman in a bright red but ripped, and stained dress slumped over a grave and looked as though she was bleeding badly.

Kyle gasped at the sight and let Butters take a hold of Kenny. Kyle ran down the graveyard towards the woman. He crouched next to her and looked at her.

She had long auburn hair and hazel eyes. Her face was slightly round and she had a button nose. Her skin looked fairly smooth. Kyle looked down and saw that she was extremely frail and thin. Kyle leaned closer and saw that she had loads of scars and cuts all over her body. On her face there was a long gash from her nose and down her chin. Kyle picked her up and carried her over to the four others.

Wendy and Butters gasped. "Who's that?" Butters asked as he looked at the woman Kyle was carrying bridal style.

"Dunno, but she was slumped over Leanne Cartman's grave." Kyle responded as Kenny came to.

Kenny looked at the woman in Kyle's arms and smirked, "Oh, Kyle, you got a girlfriend? Good job."

Stan pinched the bridge of his nose and slapped Kenny on the back of his head.

"Shut up, dude. She was over in the grave yard." Kyle said.

"Aw! Dude, Kyle, you like Necrophilia? I'm pretty *hiccup* sure that's illegal!" Kenny shouted.

"She's n-not dead, K-Kenny." Butters stuttered in response.

"Oh." Kenny responded and rubbed his face.

"Stan, could you take me and, you know… her… back to my house. I don't have my car keys." Kyle asked as him, Stan and Wendy waved to the departing Kenny and Butters.

"Sure dude." Stan opened the passenger side door to allow Wendy in to sit next to him as Kyle moved the woman in the seat next to him.

"Thanks," Kyle said and sat next to the woman.

"See ya Stan." Kyle shouted, waving. "Congratulations." Kyle unlocked the door and the woman in his arms wriggled and one of her arms wrapped around his neck. Kyle smiled and laid the woman down on the couch. He ran upstairs and brought the woman a blanket and pillow. He look at her and thought she looked familiar in some way.

He shrugged it off and walked upstairs to go to bed.

Kyle woke up at eleven o'clock and walked downstairs. He saw that Ike was sitting in the kitchen eating a bowl of cornflakes. Ike smirked. "What's that woman doing in there?" Ike asked, pointing a thumb behind him at the living room.

Kyle frowned, "I found her in a grave yesterday." He walked into the living room just as the woman began to stir. He bent down on his right knee just as her long eyelashes fluttered open.

"Hello, how's it going?" Kyle asked as he smiled at her.

The woman gasped and pushed herself up.

"Hey, hey, hey… it's okay. Sit down, what's your name?" Kyle asked.

"What's yours?" The woman asked in a high–ish voice.

Kyle smiled at her and said: "Kyle. Kyle Broflovski."

The woman screamed and scrambled to her feet. She ran and tried to sprint out of the door but the taller and stronger man blocked her in. "What's wrong?"  
>"I need to go!" The woman shrieked as she tried to get past.<p>

Kyle spent ten minutes calming the woman down. "Now, what's your name?"

The woman sighed, "Eric Cartman." She… he … squinted as Kyle's eyes widened.

"What‽ _Eric Cartman‽ THE_ Eric Cartman?" Kyle shouted, standing up and gaping in shock.

Cartman sighed and looked down. "Yes."

"B-but… you can't be! You're thin and you've been gone for eight years." Kyle shouted.

Cartman nodded and looked down. "Yea."

"What are you doing here‽" Kyle shouted.

"W-well, I was dressed up in a dress by this one kid as a 'leaving gift'. I was then beaten and thrown on a bus to go back here. Once off of the bus I went to my mom's grave and saw there was a party or something going on inside the church. I must have passed out or something."

Kyle was shocked at what Cartman said. "Why did they stick you in a dress?"

Cartman shrugged and said: "Punishment for being a transvestite, I guess."

"Y-you're a transvestite?" Kyle asked, though he already knew he was at least comfortable in woman's clothing.

Cartman rolled his eyes, which were becoming glassy. "Like you didn't already know."

Kyle was silent for a few minutes until he said: "S-so, how's it been since you left?" Despite already knowing the answer.

A few tears welled up in Cartman's eyes and he shrugged. "Okay, I guess."

Kyle raised an eyebrow at Cartman. "What's wrong?" Kyle asked, predicting, once again, that he already knew the answer.

The tears began to fall and Cartman smashed his palms to his face. "Oh god, I hated it there!"

Kyle, tentatively, took and held Cartman in his arms.

Kyle had noticed that Cartman had changed in almost every way. Personality. Physical appearance. _Emotional balance_. Cartman looked almost exactly like a girl in every way. His face, features and appearance.

Kyle sighed and let go of Cartman. "I'm gonna call the others."

* * *

><p>March fifth 2035<p>

Cartman growled at the smug look he got from Kenny, "Piss off, Po' Boy!"

"W-who's next?" Butters asked, looking around.

Butters blushed and said: "W-when was m-mine and Kenny's first date?"

* * *

><p>May twentieth 2020<p>

Butters smiled as he walked up to Kenny, hiding a rose behind his back.

"H-hi, Kenny."

Kenny smiled at Butters as he turned away from his locker. "Hey, Butters. What's up?"

Butters looked down and brought the rose to in front of himself. "Err… Kenny, d-do you want t-to go to Casa Bonita tonight?" Butters asked, blushing.

Kenny smiled and tussled Butter's hair happily. "Cause I will."

Butters began to beam and hugged Kenny. "Oh, thank you Kenny!"

Kenny smiled wider and rubbed Butters' back. Kenny had wanted to go out with Butters for a while, he just didn't know how he should aproach it because up until then, he had only fucked random girls and guys he had no feelings for. He knew Butters was going to buy him dinner that night and at least if the date didn't go right he would always have that.

Kenny knocked on Butters door at seven thirty. He was wearing his blue suit and, surprisingly, didn't have his usual parka on. His usuall dirty, messy blond hair was still messy but was a lot cleaner. He was also wearing a black coat over his suit His shoes were polished black and he had a bouqquet of roses in his hands.

Butters opened the door and smiled, happily, at Kenny. He took the roses and slowly kissed Butters on his cheek. Butters was wearing his light blue suite and his pale yellow tie. "Thank you, Kenny." Butters gushed.

"So, we gonna get a goin'?" Kenny asked.

"O-okay." Butters replied and then shouted: "By mom, by Ron."

The pair walked to Casa Bonita and told the man at the doorway their reservations. A waiter led them to a secluded booth, away from any possible homophobic catcalls as the first gay couple since Mr. Slave and Big Gay Al.

Kenny smiled as he took the menus from the waiter and nodded as to tell him he's okay.

"So, Kenny, h-how have y-you been."

Kenny smiled and slid closer to Butters and slinked his arm around him, "I've been juuuuust fahn!"

Butters smiled as well and leaned into Kenny's side and the pair of them read the menu. "What do you want?" Kenny asked Butters after a few minutes of reading the menu.

"I l-like the burrito platter and I'll have a coke." Butters said and smiled.

Kenny nodded and the pair chatted for a while until the waiter came back, "Hello, what would you like to drink tonight?"

"We'll both have a refillable glass of cock." Kenny replied.

"Okay, and for your meal, sirs, what would you like?"

"I'll have a three–taco–taco platter and he'll have a burrito platter."

The waiter nodded and smiled. "Okay, well, I'll be back soon with your drinks."

Butters smiled at the waiter as he left.

The pair continued chatting all through their meal, sharing bits of it by feeding each other.

"Shall I get the bill for you two gentlemen?" The waiter asked and looked at Kenny.

"Yea, you can go get that."

The waiter left and then came back a little while later with the bill and he placed it on the table. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

Butters pulled out his wallet and placed down the amount for the bill and then left a fifty percent tip. The pair stood and left the Mexican restaurant. On their way home, Butters shivered. Kenny smiled and took off his jacket and wrapped it around Butters shoulder and smiled.

"T-thanks, Kenny."

Kenny smiled and nodded as they came to the Stotch's doorstep. Butters opened the door with his key and took off Kenny's jacket, handing it to him. "G-goodnight, K-Kenny." Butters said as he pecked Kenny on the lips.

Kenny chuckled and captured Butters lips and began to make out with him. Butters wrapped his arms around Kenny's neck and continued to make out with Kenny, moaning lightly.

Kenny moved back and smiled, "Night, Butters."

Butters looked dazzled as he stared at Kenny's retreating form.

* * *

><p>March fifth 2035<p>

Butters was blushing and Kenny was smiling behind his parka.

"Next." Cartman* said, rolling his hand around.

"Hey!" Damian shouted, "Why the fuck did I marry a fucking almost–Jesus when I'm the bloody anti–Christ."

Lucifer Thorn stood up, growled and shouted: "What did you say‽"

Damian and Lucifer's pupils dilated and four vases lifted off of the ground.

"Jesus Christ!" Cartman* shouted and jumped behind the couch.

The four vases launched at each other and the vases smashed over the floor.

Damian made his arms become engulfed with flames, as did Lucifer.

Cartman* looked at Butters*, "Do you know how to calm them down."

"No." Butters* whispered and continued looking at the angry pair of demons.

Elizabeth stood and slowly moved her hands to be in front of her. "STOP!" She screamed in a thick Pip–like accent and froze the pair.

"What the fuck, you dumb broad‽" Damian shouted at the blond girl who was glaring at her and forcing himself out of the frozen state.

Cartman* sneaked out of the room and ran to his phone and dialled Pip's* work number. "Hello, Broflovski–Cartman Enterprises, advertising division. How may I help you?" The thick British accent asked out.

"Pip, Pip…" Cartman* took in a heavy breath and the exhaled it. "Can you tell Damian to come to my h-house?"

"If you don't mind me asking, Eric, but would really would jolly well like to know why."

"Your kids and young Damian are acting up. Damian called you something like 'a fucking almost–Jesus' and Lucifer got kinda mad." Cartman* explained and awaited Pip's* response.

"Oh my," Pip* said, "Well I'll contact him right away!"

Cartman* hung up and snuck back into the room and saw that the three were still arguing, fireballs pointing towards them.

"Piss off, you blond haired bitch!" Damian shouted.

"Shut up, CUNT!" Lucifer screamed.

Suddenly, the flams in the fire place. The massive flames formed a humanoid figure. The face was that of Damian*. "Stop arguing, all of you!"

"But he called dad 'Jesus'!" Lucifer shouted.

"Actually," Damian smiled in a grim, evil looking smirk forming on his lips, "I said: "why the fuck did I marry a fucking almost–Jesus when I'm the bloody anti–Christ" not just 'Jesus'."

Lucifer growled and threw Butters at him.

"AH!" Butters shouted as he hit Damian.

Cartman* hid further behind the couch.

"STOP IT NOW!" Damian screamed and the flames burned brighter. "Now, I'll leave. See ya Cartman, Butters." The flames shrank and became normal again.

Cartman* smiled and jumped back onto his seat. "So, Butters, explain."

* * *

><p>June fifth 2025<p>

Pip ran down the street, happily, in the rain. The British twenty–year–old, not noticing the dark figure leaning against the lamppost, tripped over a foot. He heard a chuckle from above him and he stood, glaring. When he recognised the person, the angry glare turned into a curious smile. "Damian? Damian Thorn?" The man asked.

"Yea. Who're you?"

"It's me. Pip Pirrup. I'm the person you brought back up from hell after I was squashed by Mecha–Streisand."

"Oh yea, how's it been?" Damian asked, not really giving a crap.

"Okay." Pip responded, sensing the 'don't care'–ness in his voice.

Damian smiled and asked: "Would you like to grab something to eat?"

"Sure." Pip responded and the pair walked away.

The pair, after their meal, went back to Damian's apartment and had sex.

After that night, the pair began dating. Little did Pip know at the time that Damian's sperm could make him pregnant.

(A/N 2: I am so sorry this short little story was shit! I didn't want to make it longer because I don't read or write Dip so I decided to make the flash back interim a little longer. But don't get me wrong, I do like the pair in the terms of I wouldn't want those two characters going out with anyone else. I got the idea for the Dip and the Bunny flashbacks from _'MUSTACHEMADAM_'. I'll do the Creek one in part two.)

* * *

><p>March fifth 2035<p>

"Who's next?" Cartman* asked.

Cartman asked quietly, sinking into himself: "W-what was it like when mom died?"

Cartman* gulped.

* * *

><p>August nineteenth 2015<p>

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Cartman looked at his mother, lying in her hospital bed, slipping in and out of consciousness.

Leanne Cartman had been hospitalised for two months. She had a number of STDs, mild breast cancer and an unnamed, unknown disease which made her consciousness go from awake to asleep in a matter of seconds.

Tears welled up in Cartman's eyes and he buried his face in his chubby little hands. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a sheet of paper and looked at it.

It was a drawing of a little, round child holding the right hand of a tall, brown–haired woman. A little bit away, there were two tall, redheads, the same colour hair as Kyle's, as well as a blonde woman who was next to the tallest redhea. Cartman laid his hand over the drawing and looked at the title which was underlined in thick, black pen.

'My family!'

The tears in his eyes began to fall down his cheeks and a few landed on the paper. He hopped off of his chair and walked over to his mother, who was beginning to awake.

"H-hi, mommy." Cartman said, moving into the bed with his mother.

"Hi, Eric… what do you have there?" Leanne asked in a croaky voice, looking at the sheet of paper in her son's hand.

"I-it's a picture I drawd for you." Cartman said, unable to control his childish speech.

"'Drew', Eric, you drew it for me." Leanne corrected before taking the picture from her son. As she looked it over, the tears welled up in her eyes. "Oh, Eric." She took Cartman into her arms and cried with him.

"I love you, mommy."

"I love you too, Eric."

Leanne noticed a familiar looking ginger walk past the room, she just couldn't place who it was.

Leanne and Cartman fell asleep.

The morning after, Eric awoke to the sound of the beep.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beeeeeeeeeeeee.

Cartman began to panic as doctors rushed in and he was taken from his mother's arms. Tears began to fall fast from Cartman's eyes as he stared at the straight line. "No, no, no! Mommy!" He shouted, struggling against the doctors who were seating him down.

"Please, little boy, you need to stay seated. The doctors are working on your mother." Cartman was the led away.

After that, the police came to take Cartman and talk to him in the Park County Police Station. "Eric, we're going to let you stay here, in the police station's child room, until after the start of the new school year so you can say goodbye to your friends. After that, we'll take you to one of the adoption agencies in the Denver. Okay?"

Cartman sniffed and nodded. The ginger man stood and said: "You can go home and grab a small amount of your belongings tomorrow."

Cartman awoke on the sofa in the clown covered room when a police officer came in and shook him, "Mr. Cartman, we're going over to your house in half an hour." He said.

Cartman rubbed his eyes sadly and nodded.

The police car drove towards Cartman's house… old house… _21208 Bonanza Cir_. Cartman looked up and down his street and noticed a group of four boys walking down the street, the one in an orange parka bouncing a basketball. There was one in an orange jacket with a green ushanka, one had a brown jacket and a blue beanie, one was in an orange parka and one had a baby blue shirt and a small tuft of blond hair. Cartman sighed watching his friends leave before walking into his house and grabbing only cloths and his Clyde Frog.

September fifth 2015

"Hey, Stan, back to school I guess." Kyle chuckled as Stan stood next to him at the bus stop.

"Yea. First day of fifth grade." Stan replied.

"Hey Stan, hey Kyle!" Kenny shouted as he ran up to them and jumped onto Kyle's back and began giving him a noogie."

Kyle threw Kenny off of his back, "Stop it asshole."

"Aw…" Kenny hauled himself off of the floor. "Hey, I heard we got Garrison again. You think that's true?"

Stan groaned, "Knowing our luck."

The three talked until the bus came, "Jeez, first day and the Fatass is already late!" Kyle said.

Kenny and Stan laughed as they followed Kyle onto the bus. As they stepped off of the bus they saw all of their male friends (besides Cartman) standing in front of the school.

They all continued chatting for five minutes until the doors opened and they walked inside.

They then went to their fifth grade class and walked inside but, just before they did, the class saw a fat, Cartman–esc figure in a black hoodie burst out of the door and run down the hall.

"What the fuck‽" Kyle shouted.

The group then walked into the room and sat down, waiting for their teacher.

Garrison walked through the door and said: "Settle down, settle down! I'm mad I've got you lot again as well!" Garrison then dropped his stuff on his desk. He opened his desk drawer and pulled out the class registration list and noticed a sheet of paper with words written on them.

After Garrison pulled it out, Red asked: "What's that, Mr. Garrison?"

"It's a letter." He responded.

"Who from?" Heidi asked.

Garrison turned over a page, "It's from… Eric Cartman?" Garrison raised his left eyebrow.

"What does it say?" Kevin Stoley asked.

Garrison began to read:

_Dear asshole classmates,  
>I am leaving the school, as my mother died while I was in her arms and her hospital bed.<br>I don't know how to do this, so all I want to say is: sorry!  
>I'm sorry I was an asshole. I'm sorry I was a racist. I'm sorry I killed people. I'm sorry for being around you.<br>I have a few confessions. Do with them what you wish.  
>Number one: I was the person who burnt Mrs. Claridge, not Trent Boyett.<br>Number two: Mr. Garrison, I took Mr. Hat back in third grade.  
>Number three, this is the least important and probably means the least to you, but: I'm gay.<br>I think that's all I want to say…  
>Oh, yea, I almost forgot, I'm attracted to Kyle.<br>Yours not sincerely,  
>Eric Cartman.<em>

Garrison looked up from the paper and said: "Well, I guess it's my lucky day!"

* * *

><p>March fifth 2035<p>

Cartman had tears stinging his eyes as he rubbed his face.

Kyle bit his lip, not wanting to look at his future husband but also wanting to check if he was okay. Despite himself, Kyle turned and looked at Cartman.

* * *

><p>AN 3: So how was that? Please tell me and also give me more questions. I couldn't think of anymore.


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